You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
