i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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