dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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