Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just want to make out with him forever
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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