So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize