her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
