I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
