True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
