So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
