i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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