I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
