just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
