so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
