i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
