She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
