he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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