I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
