Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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