we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
