dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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