i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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