piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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