i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
