so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
