do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
