Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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