You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
