I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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