Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
