What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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