why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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