He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
