so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
