Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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