The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
