i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
