I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
