her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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