I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
