I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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