Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
