The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
