I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
