she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
