remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
