this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
