I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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