Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
