I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
