what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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