you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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